The Institute for Bully Free Living

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What bullies don't want you know...

Bullies believe they are invisible or invincible -- bring the bullying activity into the open.

The cycle of bullying and abuse can be traced through generations.

In one case an adult bully bragged how he bullied a sibling who eventually committed suicide.

Always be careful outing a bully as it can escalate and become a violent situation. Know all your options  before confronting a bully alone.

If a victim fights back the bully will say, "See, they're the real bullies.
We are the real victim."

Bullies often will lie about what they have done and are doing. A bully will deny it or claim they are the 'real' victim. Be ready for this to happen. Don't let their lies affect you.

Bullies will often find a sidekick - a person or group- they will 'use' for their own gain. In their path there are often many individuals they have manipulated and 'used.'

Bullies are very convincing story tellers often gaining sympathy and 'assistants' who help them bully. Rest assured, bullies will 'use' these people then turn on them. Often their sidekick is terrified of being the next victim.

In cases we have seen bullies tell bold-faced lies to the police when questioned. Even after they are caught in the lie, they never told the truth.

Bullies are likely to be narcissists never taking responsibility for their actions. Never.

Adult bullies are likely to have extramarital affairs and lie about them to their spouses and children even after they are exposed.  

We have seen multiple cases where adults bullied children, some kids as young as pre-school.

The best step you can take is to hold a bully or bullies accountable. Encourage them to get help before they hurt anyone else including another family member, child, neighbor, colleague or pet.

Bully Free Living offers an holistic approach to understanding a complex issue that has been socially accepted in many areas of our culture including families. In our site we never blame the victim in any way.  Our site defines bullying, challenges the current accepted model and offers ways to heal from bullying.

What is bullying?
Bullying can be exclusion, humiliation, verbal attacks, gossip, physical violence and hate crimes. You can find bullying in schools, workplaces, organizations, neighborhoods and it can be found in families, between spouses and siblings.

Bullying affects every age and culture. Kids and teens can be bullied at school while adults can be bullied in workplaces and organizations. Both teens and adults have reported experiencing cyberbully over email and in social networking sites.

Assistants and Sidekicks
Often a bully's assistant or helper is someone without a healthy support group or without any friends at all. This is someone will do anything for attention and acceptance. If you find your child in this situation, remind them of their magnificence and remove them from such a toxic environment. A bully will often allow their assistant to take full blame for the bullying.

Do not be a bully's assistant or let your child be one. If being bullied is a way of getting accepted into a group, walk away. Nothing is worth the devastating affects of bullying.

Bullycide is when a victim has been bullied to death. We are all trying to understand this tragic phenomenon. Bullycide can be found in schools, in workplaces and in families.

It is time to change our perceptions-
We are changing the accepted model of bullying. The tradition model was comprised of a bully, victim and bystanders. In truth, there are four aspects to this current model. Bullies often find 'assistants' or 'sidekicks' that help them with bullying or bully for them.  

What if there were no bystanders because they took action to stop bullying?
If you change the current accepted model to Healing, Inclusion, Social Courage and Empowerment this could change the very nature of bullying, slowing and stopping the devastating affects.

Bystanders no more! No longer can we watch bullying and hope we are not the next victim. Stand up to bullying in the safest way you or your child can.

Check out this organization from the video below.
Good work!


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Living bully free begins with awareness and leads to action.

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